I’m underwhelmed to be at the awards this year but I’ve packed a mickey of vodka in my purse to add to my free water that’s given out in the media/artist green room and before any work can begin I excuse myself to the washroom and make myself a stiff drink, I mean, a special water… ok. I’m ready to rock *unenthusiastic* yay!
There’s so much unwashed hair and Chuck Taylor’s I don’t feel underdressed in my dirty Vans and my own unwashed hair.
It’s still early and the media and artists are trickling in. Un-surprising no-shows were the guys in Buckcherry and Papa Roach who were supposed to present the first award. Surprising guests include a guy from Hedley – the one who always wears a hat to hide the fact that he’s balding, the chick who’s referred to as Lights, and Kelly’s ‘nice guy” from last summer – the one who called, who made plans and then disappeared without a word. He came strolling in hand in hand with his new girlfriend and sauntered right past Kelly!!
His new girlfriend is wearing a lovely dress. No really, it’s very cute if it were the August Long weekend at the cottage!
‘Nice guy” sees Kelly, unhands his girlfriend and walks over to say Hi and play nice. I’m standing on the outskits of the convo but it appears to go well. Only Kel can say for sure.
Here’s a list of ways it could have gone better:
- Kelly could have had a Publicity pass on instead of a “Saturday Volunteer” Pass
- She could have been on fire. I’m kidding, but she could have been talking to some super hawt indie boy. Instead she was talking to some strung out dude from Cali who wore his sunglasses indoors, all night
So unfortunately instead of snubbing Nice Guy he was a welcomed distraction from the other dude.
Here’s a list of things that went well for the ‘hi’:
- Kelly looked cute (and weather appropriate) in her skirt/shorts and leggings paired with a very collegiate looking cardi.
- it was obvious that Kelly was the ‘hot one’ in their relationship… Nice Guy just looked short, a tad gingery and definitely not the cute one of the band. Where as Kel is sporting a hot new haircut, and she’s def the hawt one of our band!
I’m sipping demurely on my special water and just taking in all the sights and sounds (they were not in attendance). Hey Rosetta! take over the one corner with all their gear and band members and warm up for their opening set. I was quite impressed by them, not just the fact that all 47 members could fit on that stage, but also their music! The only band that rivals them for number of band members is Down with Webster. If you’d been at the awards and didn’t know what they looked like… they were the swarm of young looking whiteys from suburbia dressed as thugs…. One even donned a backpack that was shaped like a stuffed kaola bear.
The green room is filled with dirty boys with no money. Good thing there was free food. Some of these kids could use a deep fried butter sandwich, STAT. I just wanted to force feed them all!!
Anvil were among the first bands to arrive, and they still look like 1984 personified. Their publicist wins the Biggest Transformation Award from us TBSers. She’s lost about 80 lbs! If only she knew that she’s too old for pink hair….
Lights won some stupid award for something stupid and doesn’t thank her BAND! You know, the boys that make it possible for her to tour and make a living!!!
Best Set of the Evening
Jon LaJoie – www.myspace.com/jonlajoiecomedy
So funny!! He’s like Dane Cook with a guitar.
She was diagnosed with cancer not too long ago and she appears to be doing quite well now and looked stunning in her new short hair.
Best Look Alike
The kid with the hair from the Arkells, on stage he has a striking resemblance to our former/allusive friend A.W.
This is about all I can remember from the night…. The special water knocked me on my butt, and I needed a beer to sober up at the Library Bar in the lobby of the Royal York. Turned out that wasn’t as easy to do as you’d expect. We actually had to wait in a LINE to get into a bar called the LIBRARY Bar on a SATURDAY night. Could we be more lame?
But it was certainly worth the wait! We got fake fangs from one of the performers!!!
After that I was dunzo. I went to the Timmy’s got a bucket of tea and some cookies and went home to watch this week’s epi of Dollhouse.
the advocate for mid-day work naps
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